First Edition Isabel

Becky, 21 Personal blog + Fandom.

Posts tagged becky thinks she's a writer

Aug 25

Research research research

I swear to god, I spent less time researching for term papers than I do for “Shift Man, Shift.” But with not being in school, only working nights and the kids I watch going back to daycare, I have a lot of time on my hands. So I research. 

Actual terms in my search history:

  • seating in CJ-5 jeep
  • ear gauging
  • November north california sunset
  • Evil Beaver mp3s
  • amount of sugar in gummy bears
  • child welfare laws california
  • narcotic abuse 12 steps
  • punk zines 
  • asl sign “fuck off”
  • Zamboni operation

Not to mention checking lyrics for countless songs, and the time spent acquiring new music that the characters would like. 

Why was I never this dedicated to school?

Aug 19

Aug 12

Aug 2
“I would save you if I had the time.” The only good line of poetry in The Delaney Project

May 27

This post was written at least a month ago and I have no idea what it means either.

Today I had a conference with my poetry professor to talk about my writing. We were talking about my repeated use of a character named Ollie, and I explained that he is a fictionalization of someone else’s fictionalization. 

"My poems are this monster truck hybrid zombie."

"I don’t know what that means."

Apr 25

I’m trying to write a poem about my dad, and how my genes are loaded with addiction and mental illness. I’ve started seven poems about it in the past day and haven’t finished a single draft.

Last night I watched the documentary “Louder Than a Bomb”

And I can’t get over this movie. And the poetry and the poets and how amazing every moment was. I’m going to the office today to ask if I can borrow the DVD or at least sit on the couch and watch a few of the poems again.

Apr 21


Pinterest time!

Let’s share our pinterests, yes? Mine is here. I use it to visually plan stories, and collect things I like, such as cute clothes, costumes and beautiful faces. Reblog with yours!

Apr 19

2 Excerpts of Weird Shit I Wrote

Stanza from a poem about getting drum lessons from your dead cousin’s boyfriend:

Last stanza of a not-quite-poem about your chronically missing freak friend ending up in the hospital:

My (fucking awesome) poetry teacher says I go between prose poems and overly impressionistic and I have to find a middle ground. I’ve spent hours in her office and she gives me tailored assignments. Today she pointed out that I’m giving myself a lot of extra work, but I don’t care. Even though I’m shit at poetry, it’s rewarding as fuck to work on it. 

Apr 18

One of my poems is being workshopped tomorrow.

It’s not the best one I’ve written for the class, which yes means it’s a good thing that it’s getting workshopped. It’s long and it’s in couplets which I hate and this is the only part I like:

We ride the heavy subway car.

I didn’t forget the shirtless man.

I asked my professor about it and she just said “I think workshop will go well for this poem” BETH WHAT DOES THAT MEAN. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN.

Apr 17

streetsbehindyou said: What's your favorite of all the things you've written?

End of a short story called “Skinned”

And I just want all of me to fall off and I can die right here. Fifteen years old, in the middle of English and my body gives out because my soul is too sour and I drop to the floor but no one knows what to do because no one knows how to do anything because they are all pasty babies scared of the world and I am the only one who will ever be ok.

It’s not as good without the rest of the story, and the way she has used the concept of “ok” up until this point, but yes. This is my favorite thing I’ve written.

Apr 15

Do you ever finish a story and writing it was like being on a bullet train and you finish and when you step off it feels like the world is tilting and you want to fall to the ground, but there is homework to be done.

Apr 13

Apr 2

This one time I wrote a poem where I talked about vibrators and poptarts in the same line.

This one time that was like five minutes ago and I’m so tired that I’m considering just running with it. 

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